Faking It

Sometimes you’ve just got to fake it ’til you make it. Except when there’s no hope of making it, what’s a girl to do?

I keep waking up looking like death. Pale, pasty, dull. This has much to do with Baby N having a spate of mildy bad health recently, and consequently me having MILDLY* disrupted nights.
Not only do I not want to look in the mirror, I can’t imagine staring at this bleary,pale, smudge of a face inspires much confidence in my family.

So I fake sleep. This involves a lot of caffeine and a few key skin products. I chop and change my skin routine a lot. I am the most disloyal customer imaginable. Or to put a better spin on it, I am a beauty chameleon. Even when I love something, there’s always something new to try when it’s close to running out (I can count on one hand the number of products I have actually finished to the last drop). Possible I have mentioned before I am an advertiser’s dream. I believe spin. Or to put it another way, I am trusting. Sometimes naively so. When my sister first said “The word gullible has been taken out of the dictionary”, I said “Why?”. I really BELIEVE that the new Omo will lift more stains than the previous one. So coupled with my love of magazine reading, when they profile that new serum that’s gonna drop 20 years off your face, I am queueing at the counter.

But I digress. You’re not interested in what a gullible junkie I am, you want to know how I glow (yes you do, because that is the topic today).

So I wash my face in the shower, apply a serum, and I’m already looking slightly better. But then comes the first key product. Jurlique Herbal Recovery Antioxidant Face Oil. Adorebeauty sent me a sample of this with my last order, and it just goes to show that sending samples pays, because a couple of weeks later I ordered the full size product). A few drops of this pressed onto my face (although to be honest, I rub and swipe more than I lightly press) and honestly, I look at least 30% better than I did 10 seconds previously. I look glowy, rested. And I smell amazing because Jurlique smells of eau de day spa.

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Feeling all happy with myself I get dressed and go and face the zoo downstairs. On goes sunscreen and moisturiser in amongst the getting of breakfast (me), the eating of breakfast (the zoo), the finding of uniform (me), the getting of socks which have been left upstairs (me), the fielding of never ending questions (me), the putting on of shoes (me and zoo – combination effort), the swearing under breath (me, me, me).

Then comes key product number two. Nars Light Optimising Primer. Also sent to me initially as a sample by Mecca Cosmetica. It has a pearly finish, designed to give me, what the beauty industry refers to as the “lit from within” effect. I hate that phrase. It makes me think of bad heartburn, and has me reaching for a Rennie just reading it. I prefer “candlelit”. That makes me think “glow” more than “burn”. On it goes. Now I am glowing, and my complexion is smooth enough that I need just a very thin layer of foundation.

However, I am still pale. I need a bit of colour. Some blush on the cheeks (I am partial to this at the moment). Very summer. Very fresh. A little bronzer and….hello! Alive! Well slept! Relaxed and freshly holidayed!

Except, the body. Nothing says Aussie girl like bronzed limbs. But I was born in England; ergo I come in two shades – pink, and pale pink (winter). Clothes simply do not look as good with two pink pins poking out. And so I have to fake this too. Right now I am loving St Tropez Luxe Dry Oil, as suggested my one of my trusty magazines. I don’t know if it is fool-proof, but it is mother-trying-to-get-showered-and-dressed-in-under-10-minutes-proof. It has a colour and shimmer to it, so the effect is immediate, as well as becoming more permanent over the subsequent few hours. No bad smell. Moisturising. No streaks or patches. Dries fast. I’m sold.

At least I am until the bottle is running low and I read about something that sounds better…..

XOXO Shopping Girl

*in the ironic sense of “mildly”.

Milk with Weetbix

I used to read these Graffiti books, by a chap called Nigel Rees. I love how English men are automatically chaps. An Aussie could never be a chap. He’s just a guy. The Graffiti books were a series, published in the 80s, of one-liners from walls (often toilet walls) around the world, or billboards that had humorously been “adjusted”, footnoted with the location of the scrawl. Being a sheltered, precious, 13 year old living in the world’s most isolated city, I didn’t get half the jokes, but the ones I did I thought were hilarious.

The one line that sticks in my mind is “Cleanliness is next to godliness” to which someone had added “only in an Irish dictionary!”.

Personally, I’m with the original sentiment.

As I have previously mentioned, I find staying tidy a challenge (there are just so many forces working against me…..4 to be precise), but cleanliness is another matter. I am into clean. I like my glass to be shiny and streak free. I like my cupboards to be fingerprint free. I like my clothes to be stain-free. I like my skin to be oil and odour free. I like my benchtop to be germ free. And my hands. Certainly no graffiti.

I like my children germ free too. And stain free. And odour free. And banana free. Snot free. Yoghurt-on-eyebrow free.

You are most likely laughing at me now. 4 boys, you’re thinking, and you don’t like dirt and muck? Good luck.
Well I don’t need luck…..I just need lots of different varieties of wipes (my top two are Water Wipes for hands and faces after meals and Pine O Cleen crisp apple for wiping down the table – often on special and lovely apple scent) and really good baby shampoo and bath wash.

Nothing is harder to remove than dried Weetbix. NU-THING. Even if you don’t have time to wash up – always rinse your Weetbix bowl immediately or you will regret it a few hours later when you need a heavy duty paint scraper to get it off.

That stuff has serious holding power. If you harnessed its power and
put it in hairspray you would make the best hairspray ever and be a millionaire. I can just see the advert now “New from Loreal…..Elnett, now with the active ingredient of Weetbix. Think it’s just a cereal? Think again! Eat it, wear it. Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Weetbix. Because you’re worth it. Feel like a woman, having breakfast. Easy, breezy, beautiful…..breakfast”. You get the idea (and if you don’t, there’s really not much more I can do for you).

Baby N often styles his hair with Weetbix during the course of breakfast – it really holds his coif in place I find. I also find that I want it to come out at the end of the day. Wipes most definitely are not up to Weetbix hair removal.

When Master T was born, a good friend was working at Jurlique. So we received some of their beautiful baby care products in gifts, and that is what we used.

Since my friend now works for a bank, and they don’t sell boutique baby skincare, I have been using Milk & Co baby products with Baby N. They are good value products (especially when on special). They are available in Coles and Woollies so super convenient. And they smell absolutely delicious. I don’t know what the shampoo (Shampoozle and Conditioner) is designed to smell like but it smells like jelly beans to me. But in a lovely, baby way. Jelly babies. It is super gentle but somehow it gets every last trace of Weetbix out. The Bath Time Wash gets the peanut butter from under the fingernails. And the yoghurt in the eyebrows. And that mysterious gunk that gathers between baby fingers and toes…..

I highly recommend both these products. Also the suncream. Oh the suncream. I used it last summer. You know how smearing a wriggling baby with suncream and ensuring full coverage is one of the more JOYFUL experiences of motherhood? This suncream has beautiful consistency and again with the incredible smell so it makes the job slightly more pleasant. Baby N did not burn so it looks like it is effective. And did I mention the smell?

XOXO Shopping Girl

P.s. This is in no way a sponsored post. I just thought you’d all be as FASCINATED by Baby N’s skincare as you were mine.

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