Sometimes you’ve just got to fake it ’til you make it. Except when there’s no hope of making it, what’s a girl to do?

I keep waking up looking like death. Pale, pasty, dull. This has much to do with Baby N having a spate of mildy bad health recently, and consequently me having MILDLY* disrupted nights.
Not only do I not want to look in the mirror, I can’t imagine staring at this bleary,pale, smudge of a face inspires much confidence in my family.

So I fake sleep. This involves a lot of caffeine and a few key skin products. I chop and change my skin routine a lot. I am the most disloyal customer imaginable. Or to put a better spin on it, I am a beauty chameleon. Even when I love something, there’s always something new to try when it’s close to running out (I can count on one hand the number of products I have actually finished to the last drop). Possible I have mentioned before I am an advertiser’s dream. I believe spin. Or to put it another way, I am trusting. Sometimes naively so. When my sister first said “The word gullible has been taken out of the dictionary”, I said “Why?”. I really BELIEVE that the new Omo will lift more stains than the previous one. So coupled with my love of magazine reading, when they profile that new serum that’s gonna drop 20 years off your face, I am queueing at the counter.

But I digress. You’re not interested in what a gullible junkie I am, you want to know how I glow (yes you do, because that is the topic today).

So I wash my face in the shower, apply a serum, and I’m already looking slightly better. But then comes the first key product. Jurlique Herbal Recovery Antioxidant Face Oil. Adorebeauty sent me a sample of this with my last order, and it just goes to show that sending samples pays, because a couple of weeks later I ordered the full size product). A few drops of this pressed onto my face (although to be honest, I rub and swipe more than I lightly press) and honestly, I look at least 30% better than I did 10 seconds previously. I look glowy, rested. And I smell amazing because Jurlique smells of eau de day spa.

Feeling all happy with myself I get dressed and go and face the zoo downstairs. On goes sunscreen and moisturiser in amongst the getting of breakfast (me), the eating of breakfast (the zoo), the finding of uniform (me), the getting of socks which have been left upstairs (me), the fielding of never ending questions (me), the putting on of shoes (me and zoo – combination effort), the swearing under breath (me, me, me).

Then comes key product number two. Nars Light Optimising Primer. Also sent to me initially as a sample by Mecca Cosmetica. It has a pearly finish, designed to give me, what the beauty industry refers to as the “lit from within” effect. I hate that phrase. It makes me think of bad heartburn, and has me reaching for a Rennie just reading it. I prefer “candlelit”. That makes me think “glow” more than “burn”. On it goes. Now I am glowing, and my complexion is smooth enough that I need just a very thin layer of foundation.

However, I am still pale. I need a bit of colour. Some blush on the cheeks (I am partial to this at the moment). Very summer. Very fresh. A little bronzer and….hello! Alive! Well slept! Relaxed and freshly holidayed!

Except, the body. Nothing says Aussie girl like bronzed limbs. But I was born in England; ergo I come in two shades – pink, and pale pink (winter). Clothes simply do not look as good with two pink pins poking out. And so I have to fake this too. Right now I am loving St Tropez Luxe Dry Oil, as suggested my one of my trusty magazines. I don’t know if it is fool-proof, but it is mother-trying-to-get-showered-and-dressed-in-under-10-minutes-proof. It has a colour and shimmer to it, so the effect is immediate, as well as becoming more permanent over the subsequent few hours. No bad smell. Moisturising. No streaks or patches. Dries fast. I’m sold.

At least I am until the bottle is running low and I read about something that sounds better…..

XOXO Shopping Girl

*in the ironic sense of “mildly”.