Once upon a time there lived a girl princess called Lauren. She lived in a very small castle in a very small city called Perth. The princess liked to buy clothes. It was a hobby, if you will. A very expensive hobby. Hobbies generally are.

One day, when Lauren was 13 she bought a t-shirt. A marle grey t-shirt from Sportsgirl that said “Sportsgirl” on it, in pastel letters.

26 years later, the princess was still wearing the t-shirt, albeit to bed. She now lived in a bigger castle in a bigger city.

She rarely shopped at Sportsgirl anymore. Being 39, she accepted that she was not really their target market. She was neither a “girl”, nor sporty. Though had there been a Sportswoman shop, she would not have shopped there either. Sportswoman sounded either too sporty or too middle aged….Lauren wasn’t sure which, but she did not identify with either concept (though that did not preclude her from buying an impressive range of gym wear, nor stopped her turning 40 before the publishing of this post).

She still received Sportsgirl emails, which she normally deleted before reading. Or more likely left unread, which is how she ended up with this particular situation….

One day, quite by accident, Princess Lauren opened a Sportsgirl email. And there was a dress. Not just any dress….an autumn floral boho dress.

It was so her. A little boho, a little floral, a little modest, a little casual….and at $119, it was an obvious choice for Lauren. She bought it, and patiently waited for the endless Sydney summer to subside.

As the temperature dropped (a degree), the princess deemed it cool enough to move to her autumn wardrobe.

She felt great the first time she wore it. Young, fun and a little bit hippy. Dressing a little bit hippy always relaxed the princess….if she dressed like she had not a care in the world, then maybe she would begin to feel like she really had not a care in the world….

The princess felt great all evening…..that is until she saw some video footage of herself. Seated. The dress had ballooned around her and rather than looking a little boho luxe….the princess deflatedly noted that she looked nothing more than fat. Reality jarred loudly with the image in her head.

Despite this, the next norning, Lauren picked up the dress off her floor-drobe, where she had dropped it the night before, and put it back on. The weather was right and the morning was a rush – who had time to conceive of a new outfit and image?

Despite the downfall of the previous evening, The princess felt good again. Perhaps it was more of a daytime dress. She floated off to Westfield to do her fruit and vegetable shopping, feeling like really she belonged at an organic farmers’ market.

It was the perfect fruit and vegetable shopping dress. The produce seemed fresher. The possibilities of providing nutritious fare seemed endless. She instantly became the sort of person who instagrammed eggplants.

She felt great. She was all her insta-inspo in one. She felt all Zimmermann-y, Talitha Getty in Morocco-y, Spell & the Gypsy-y…..she was the human embodiment of cotton gauze and a few sequins….

And then she got to the check out….and she clocked the girl in faded grey skinny jeans, insouciantly ripped, her C&M singlet, Bassike cardigan and Golden Goose trainers whispering effortless cool.

Yes, all of a sudden, Princess Lauren felt all wrong. Boho luxe felt 7 seasons ago….and it felt like completely the WRONG aesthetic to have aligned herself with, even though she did so because most of the time it felt very very right.

Effortless cool lady had an effortlessly cool baby. A seriously cute effortlessly cool baby. Of course she did.

As Princess Lauren’s spring in her step receded, and she began unloading her produce onto the conveyer belt with much less enthusiasm than it had been placed into the trolley with, she caught the eye of effortless cool girl.

“I love your dress,” said the girl. “And it really goes well with your hair”.

“I love your baby,” replied Princess Lauren, feeling once again extremely regal and like the boho princess she had always intended to be. It just took a compliment from a stranger, albeit a stylish stranger, to extinguish the sartorial angst. And prevent an expensive wardrobe overhaul.

Though she did still buy a pair of golden goose trainers on her next birthday.

The End.

XOXO Shopping Girl