Great sunglasses are a must in my line of work. The reason for this is two-fold. And each reason itself is two fold. So it’s more like four fold. I have the good fortune of living in the sunny city of Sydney. Even when it’s cloudy it’s kind of glary. Like all mothers of school aged kids, I spend a lot of time in the car. Sunny city plus time in car equals need for sunglasses. It’s basic maths.
The world is so bright after 5 hours of broken sleep. Not only do sunglasses shield your peepers from the overbearing enthusiasm of the morning light, they shield the world from all evidence of your sleep deficit AND they make you look good whilst doing both those jobs too! There is something about a great pair of sunnies that just makes you look polished and together. If you ask me, sunglasses are the hardest workers in your wardrobe.
People say a great pair of shoes makes an outfit, or sometimes a great handbag. But I say it’s the sunnies that make the look. You heard it here first.
I was in the market for a new pair of sunnies after the arms of my gold Karen Walkers unceremoniously snapped off. One minute it was attached (slightly precariously it has to be said), the next minute my sunnies were without arm. I have to say I wasn’t devastated. The Karen Walkers were no holy grail sunglasses. They were large, and gold, so made a bit of a splash wherever they went, but they had not “got me” like their predecessors, the brown Chloés (of blessed memory), which were perfection in every way (until their untimely death – they jumped straight off my head and landed one floor down).
I have a few prerequisites for sunglasses (which I overlooked for the gold pair, so blinded I was by their general fabulousness). They have to be largeish, but not too big. No metal bits against my nose. No straight lines across my eyebrows but wide overall (to counteract my long face). They need to feel like part of my face when I wear them, and MOST importantly of all: they need to sit well on my head (where they will spend most of my time). Snug enough that they don’t fall off every time I so much as lean over to strap a child in the car, but not so snug that they give me a headache. They have to suit my face and not make me look perculiar.
So it was VOSN (Vogue Online Shopping Night) a couple of months ago and I noticed that Sunglass Hut had 20% off all purchases. Sunglass Hut has free returns for 90 days. I was determined to find a new pair of sunnies and went in with a strong game plan.
Until the brown Chloés, I wore black sunglasses. Big, black sunglasses. Like a Hollywood starlet, avoiding the paps, minus the glamourous lifestyle. And minus the paparazzi. Obviously.
One day, I tried on the brown Chloés, and seriously it was a revelation. The brown suited my complexion. They made my hair look golden. They made me look way more glamourous than the large blacks ever had. I was converted. Brown sunglasses all the way.
So back to Sunglass Hut….. I filtered down on the website to all brown and tortoiseshell. Then I shortlisted all the ones that looked most similar in shape to the (deceased) Chloés. And then I ordered them all.
Except I didn’t. I got an error message when I tried to confirm the order. I tried Amex. I tried MasterCard. I tried PayPal. Repeatedly. And then I got a text from Working Boy.
“Westpac Alert: Transaction blocked on card ending **** at ‘Sunglass Hut 3538’ for $1,229.89 at 20:18. If Genuine, reply ‘Yes’. If Fraud reply ‘No’.”
Crap. I am not sure if they were suspicious that someone would buy so many sunglasses in one go. Or whether the fact that Working Boy was, unbeknownst to me, simultaneously trying to pay a large tax bill made them suspicious that someone who had such a stupid tax bill to pay would still be shopping for numerous pairs of sunglasses. But the next moment he got a text saying our cards were frozen and to expect a call in 20 minutes from the bank.
Yep. There I was in the middle of VOSN and my credit cards were frozen. Me. Shopping Girl. Unable to shop. Unthinkable. (Is it just me, or is this turning a little Roger Hargreaves?)
To cut what has already been an uneccessarily long story short, the glasses were purchased, the boxes arrived a few days later. All I had to do was try them all on, choose a pair, pop the losers back in the box, affix the pre-paid returns label, and drop them off at the post box. Easy.
Easy….except that I had done such a good job pre-selecting my short list, that it was actually very difficult to choose. I called in the reinforcements (Working Boy). He owes me HOURS of glassss choosing. Days possibly. 20 minutes later, I took the tags off these:
XOXO Shopping Girl