THE ABCs of shopping

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A is for Apple. Apple made my iPhone and iPad. I would virtually find it impossible to sit down at a PC every time I want to go online (euphemism for online shopping). Thanks to Apple, I can do my fruit and veg shopping in my pjs while I have my (first) morning coffee. And no-one pulls items out of my online cart and throws them on the floor.

B is for Baby N. Obviously. Shopping for babies is so much fun! Babies look good in everything. Fat is cute on a baby. Babies need lots of clothes, and other bits and pieces which are so much fun to buy. It’s endless. Yippee!

C is for coffee. You can’t shop if you’re asleep.

D is divorce. Unfortunately sometimes you can spend too much.

E is for EOFS. It’s a bloody stupid acronym, but who cares? Everything gets cheaper. And even though the financial year ends June 30, the sales seem to start earlier and earlier each year.

F is for friends and family: money buys you neither. But once you have them, some of them can be very good to go shopping with.

G is Glenmore rd. Part Paddington, part heaven.

H is for hunger. You have to make sacrifices for the greater good. The greater good is shopping.

I is for Internet. Where the shops are open 24 hours a day.

J is for justification. Justification is an art you have to teach yourself, and if you haven’t learnt it yet, phone a friend. I am excellent at justifying my friends’ purchases for them if they are struggling. I am also great at justifying my own.

K is for kids. More people to shop for! Kids’ stuff is more fun than adults’. Also not only do I get to dress myself however I want, I get to dress four whole other people however I want too. My latest quest with the boys is to make sure that EVERYTHING in their wardrobe can be worn together. Because I may still choose everything that goes into their wardrobe but they get themselves dressed. New Project: ultimate kids capsule wardrobe.

L is logic. This goes out the window. It’s also for Lego. If you have kids anything like mine, a significant portion of your shopping money will be spent on this. It’s worth it.

M is for money. Unfortunately you’ll need this to go shopping. This is the only negative that I can see to shopping.

N is for no-one. That’s who I like shopping with best. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy shopping with others. I do. But nothing replaces the ultimate escape – the solo browse.

O is for outlet shopping. If you bought it at the outlet then it’s guilt free. Hell, it’s not just guilt free, it’s practically FREE free. And you deserve it for rifling through all those disorganised outlet racks.

P is for pretty. Pretty is a justification (see J), as in “I know I don’t need another pair of sparkly boots, but they’re just sooooo pretty!!!”. Justified. The world is an ugly place at the moment. The more prettiness the better.

Q is for quality. It’s not always worth paying more for quality (camp ugg boots anyone?) but if you are looking for longevity then it is. Also, chocolate.

R is for research. 13 years of being married to Working Boy is bound to rub off in some regards. Big purchase? Do your research! “We” don’t make any major purchases without hours (and hours) of research. In our house it’s called a PHD. And with good reason. Working Boy has a fear of making the wrong decision. And also unnecessary expenditure. So he spends A LOT of time making sure we make the right decisions for the least amount of money possible. P.S. we got the Asko dryer.

S is for storage. If you do too much shopping you will need a lot of this. Fortunately, there’s a shop for that. It’s called Howard’s Storage World. It’s awesome – you can buy almost anything there. You can also find anything from there cheaper in other places, like Bunnings, Ikea and K-Mart
S is also for SEPHORA! Sydney! Dec 2014!

T is for Therapy. You don’t need a mental health care plan to go shopping. Sometimes you don’t actually need to see a psychologist, you just need a good shop.

U is for Uniqlo. At the moment there is a Sydney pop-up in The Glasshouse Shopping Centre, Pitt st. Unfortunately I can’t comment because I haven’t been. Like Topshop, GAP, the Scanlan & Theodore outlet, and countless other city destinations, until Baby N is at preschool, or you open within a 10 minute driving and parking radius from my house, I cannot visit you. Too hard basket. Please open online.

V is Veruca Salt. Sing with me! “I want the world…..I want the WHOLE world”.

W is for Westfield Bondi Junction (WBJ), my mothership.

X is for Xpensive (yeah I know, I cheated). Unfortunately shopping is not a cheap habit. On the upside it’s good Xercise (who needs e’s anyway). There’s a lot of walking involved and there are bags for weights. You can spend the money you just saved on gym membership. You’re welcome.

Y is for Yes! Sound made, together with fist pump, when you discover the dress you have been visiting all season (am I the only person who visits items in store that I can’t take home?) has been reduced by 50% and they only have one size left – yours.

Z is for the zoo. The kids don’t always want to go to Westfield. Sometimes you’ll have to go to other places. I don’t say this often but avoid the shop there – it’s overpriced and crap.

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